THiS iS ReAL FaMiLy PrObLeM...!!!

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said:

"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."
"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
and my father became my stepson-in-law.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law".
"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.
But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's
grand-son.

That made me the grand-father of my half-brother."

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby. Now the half-sister of my
son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child,

whose stepsister is
my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own
child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I AM MY OWN GRANDFATHER!"
"And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!"

THE OTHER GUY FAINTED.

ThE BeSt BrEaK-Up LeTTer...!!!

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from
his girlfriend back home.

It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us
is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice,
since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Becky..............


The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
ex-girlfriends.

In addition
to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:

Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to
me.


Take Care,

Ricky

A StOrE ThAt SeLLs HuSbAnD...!!!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where
a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit
the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of
the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is,
however, a catch . . you may choose any man from a particular
floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband
Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely
good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework.

"Oh mercy me" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she
goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!

TiMe To LaUgH...!!!

Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA .

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....

Thought for the Day!!!

If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis?

Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?

Answer : On their Wedding !!

3 QueStiOnS AbOuT GoD...!!!

A young man who went overseas to study for quite a long time.
When he returned, he asked his parents to find him a religious scholar
or any expert who could answer his 3 Questions.

Finally, his parents were able to find a scholar.
Young man: Who are you? Can you answer my questions?
Scholar: I am one of God willing, I will be able to answer your
questions.

Young man: Are you sure? A lot of Professors and experts were not able
to answer my questions.
Scholar: I will try my best, with the help of God .

young man: i have 3 questions for u:
1. Does God exist? If so, show me His shape.
2. What is fate?
3. If Devil was created from the fire, why at the end he will be thrown
to hell that is also created from fire. It certainly will not hurt him at
all, since Devil and the hell were created from fire. Did God not think of
it this far?
Suddenly, the Scholar slapped the young man's face very hard. Young
Man(feeling pain): Why do you get angry at me?
Scholar: I am not angry. The slap is my answer to your three questions.
Young Man: I really don't understand.
Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?
Young Man: Of course, I felt the pain.
Scholar: So do you believe that pain exists?
Young Man: Yes.
Scholar: Show me the shape of the pain!
Young Man: I cannot.
Scholar: That is my first answer. All of us feel God's existence
without being able to see His shape... Last night, did you dream
that you will be slapped by me?
Young Man: No.
Scholar: Did you ever think that you will get a slap from me, today?
Young Man: No.
Scholar: That is fate my second answer........ My hand that I used to
slap you, what is it created from?
Young Man: It is created from flesh.
Scholar: How about your face, what is it created from?
Young Man: Flesh.
Scholar: How do you feel after I slapped you?
Young Man: In pain.
Scholar: That's it... this is my third answer, Even though Devil and also
the hell were created from the fire, if God wants,God willing , the hell
will become a very painful place for devil.

Ah, ThE InDiAn MinD...!!!

An Indian man walks into a bank in New
York City and asks for the loan
officer. He tells the loan officer
that he is going to India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the
bank will need some form of security
for the loan, so the Indian man hands
over the keys to a new Ferrari
parked on the street in front of the
bank. He produces the title and
everything checks out. The loan
officer agrees to accept the car as
collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the
Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as
collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives
the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.The loan officer
says, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this
transaction has worked out very
nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you
were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multi
millionaire. What puzzles us is, why
would
you bother to borrow "$5,000"

The Indian replies: "Where else in New
York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect
it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...

SmiLeee...!!!

God gave a gift to man,
a gift not to loose,
but a precious one to gain,
and yet its hard to choose...!!!
Confused man started questioning,
the gift cannot be hold,
making man even wondering,
when its also cannot be sold...!!!
Question marks rise,
is the gift priceless or worthless??
Just like throwing a dice,
one game many answers...!!!
Life begins with a dot,
so small and yet so deep,
lets make a positive thought,
a truth human haven't seek...!!!


A truth that opens human's mind,
saying that the gift is spectacular,
not belong to any living kind,
yet not refundable with dollar...!!!

A gift that heals pain,
and get rids of sadness,
it converts man into saint,
by showing the meaning of happiness...!!!
As long as sun shines the earth,
water flows in the river,
for time there is human birth,
so long lives this gift...!!!

Smile!! Smile!! Smile!!!
A lovely gift that man has,
when life worth more than a mile,
full of challenges and test...!!!

God is so great,
that he showed you to me,
one thing makes me afraid,
that he ends up this gaiety...!!!
I love my life so much,
where I could share it with you,
its not about the touch,
but its smile that connect us through...!!!



written by,
POHVIN OOI

BuSiNeSS LoGiC...!!!

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive.

so...NEVER SAY NO...!!!

TeAcHeR AnD StUdEnT JoKe...!!!

TEACHER : Why are you late?
BALGOBIN : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
BALGOBIN : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER : Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN : You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER : Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER : Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Balgobin!

TEACHER : Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN : Me!

TEACHER : Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
BALGOBIN : Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN : Your name on this report card.

TEACHER : How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN : Don't bite any.

TEACHER : Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
BALGOBIN : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

BALGOBIN : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that
at home.

TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN : Brotherly love?

TEACHER : Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER : Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Di! d you copy his?
BALGOBIN : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN : A teacher

WoMaN DRiVeR...!!!

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
IPOH driver

2. One hand on wheel, one hand out the window with cigarette:
KEPONG driver.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic:
DOWNTOWN KUALA LUMPUR driver.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on parang, foot solidly on accelerator:
JOHOR driver.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino,
cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, hands-free on the lap:
BANGSAR driver.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror:
FOREIGNER, driving in MALAYSIA.

7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, talking on
cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering
wheel while stuck in traffic:
SUBANG JAYA DRIVER.....on the Federal Highway!!!

8. One hand on wheel, one hand on passengers head rest, alternating
between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake,
throwing rambutans or durian shells out the window:
KARAK HIGHWAY ; KUANTAN driver.

9. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, READY-TO-KILL attitude, rear window
stickers read "Make my day", beer cans on floor, wedding ribbon still
attached to antenna:
CONSTRUCTION SITE....PUCHONG driver!

10. One hand on the handphone, another hand picking nose, One leg on the
dash board, another leg crossed on the seat with a beer can in the
middle ~ turning anywhere he likes, parking anywhere he likes, in fact,
driving anywhere he likes. aaahhh..... this is a heaven for
drivers......:
welcome to PENANG!

11. Two hands gripping tightly to the wheel, eyes glued on the
windscreen, alternately stepping on the accelerator and brakes every 5
seconds:
WOMAN DRIVER!

KuNgFu PaNdA....!!!

"yesterday was a history...
tomorrow is a mystery...
today is a gift...
that's why we call it present....!!!"

Use your yesterdays as experiences to correct and brighten up your future...
I'm sure your today will be much more better...

TrUe FRiEnDsHiP...!!!

Sometimes, friendship is not only between two human beings but it may go beyond that..
even our pets can become our best friend..as long as you can share your life with it...

SUiCiDe BoMb...!!!

recently, there were many news about suicide cases in Malaysia. I'm very sure that this also happens in many parts of the world.

some says that suicide attempt is poor and coward decision of an individual. but the logic is that its not easy to jump from a hundred-feet high buliding, drinking poison that tastes like shit and hanging on a rope. all these are painful. the fact is that the individual do need lots of courage to attempt suicide.

now, if he has so much courage to attempt suicide, why not he use the same courage to face his world and to overcome his problems. just like what we learn in physics, life is also an energy.. problem n failures are a type of energy. success and happiness are a type of energy. energy cannot be destroyed but can be converted. likewise, change ur problem to something positive.. n life would be so muc better than...have a nice day...

LoVe iS LiKe A BuSiNeSS...

truly to say, love can be considered like a business or an investment. The more love we invest on someone, the more we get it back. This is the concept of investment. however, we should beware of to whom we invest our love. Because if we choose the wrong person, then we might end up in bankruptcy. So, there are millions of investors out there...but choose the one who can bring profit, i mean love profit...